Sooner or later, many of you will take a job that requires you to move yourself and your family. You will likely incur significant expenses in the process, and, if you are like most people, you will want your employer to pay for at least some of them. The following advice should help you handle this negotiation as effectively and collaboratively as possible.

#1: Focus on Your Interests
The whole point of negotiating for something is to address the real needs you have. Before you limit what you ask for, make sure you know what you want. As you do so, think broadly and do not limit yourself to financial expenses. For example, one client of mine decided that these were her needs:

• assistance in selecting and paying for childcare (she still had to finish paying her old nanny)
• a higher cost-of-living subsidy
• a higher mortgage cost allowance
• a bridge loan because she could not sell her house before she had to relocate
• assistance in choosing a good local school for her older child

Once you have thought about what help you need, you can prepare to negotiate for a package that suits your unique needs.

#2: Find Out What Assistance Is Typical
Your preparation for this negotiation should include the following:

• Ask your new employer's HR department if the company has a written relocation policy, or if it offers standard benefits.
• Find out who has recently moved at the company and ask them what relocation packages they got.
• Ask your friends or other contacts in similar firms about their experiences or their companies' policies.
• If you are using a recruiter, he or she should be able to provide guidance as well.

Keep in mind that companies tend to vary in what they offer, and larger companies have more standardized policies. Therefore, compensation can differ by industry, by city and even by position in the company (executives tend to get more). Nonetheless, the following expenses are commonly covered:

• Moving costs
• Temporary lodging costs
• Travel costs back home if you relocate before your family moves
• Assistance for a spouse who has to find a new job (may include job search reimbursements, referrals to a recruiter and arranging for interviews inside the company)
• Assistance in selling your house.

#3: Develop Ideas that Benefit Both Sides
No matter what is standard, many companies are willing to negotiate packages that address the distinct needs of their new employees. Still, even though everything is negotiable, your employer is more likely to agree to your ideas if they benefit the company as well. So anticipate this reality, and provide the advantages for them when you share your ideas. For example, my client made sure to tell her new company, "I will be able to work longer hours, and be more productive from the start if I can get a few important matters settled quickly." Another client had an employer who, while willing to provide extra assistance for her relocation, did not want to set a precedent of deviating from its written policy. This person solved the problem by saying, "Well, what if we agree that this assistance will be called a signing bonus?"

#4: Get It in Writing
Once you and the company agree on a compensation package for your relocation expenses, make sure you capture that agreement in writing. A formal contract is not necessary, just a simple signed letter explaining what assistance is being provided by what time.

A negotiation about relocation compensation is the same as any other negotiation. If you focus instead on effective preparation, collaborative negotiating and out-of-the-box thinking, you will do well. If you want more specific information about handling the challenges of relocating, Monster.com has a Relocation site in its Career Management area. For more advice on how to negotiate effectively, look at the other columns online, or join the weekly chat session hosted by me, Michael Chaffers (AKA the Negotiation Coach).